Buying Into the Hype

Tommorow is one of the biggest national events of the year--the annual running of the Super Bowl Ads! This, remakably, is something that really excites people to the extent that there are news items concerning what is to appear. One question I always have: "What percentage of folks with a keen interest in these commercials are the same sort who complain about the advertising in movie thaters? Not that it matters, because about one half of tommorow's audience won't care that much about the football game.

There has been some minor controversey around CBS refusing the winning anti-Bush commercial from MoveOn.org, but they are not alone in their discomfiture. Those daffy sorts from the People For Ethical Treatment of Animals have their own ad getting the shaft. PETA contends that their commercial is just as legitimate as that of the brewing companies who use bikini clad sales gals in commercials. Hint to PETA: guys who watch those ads are monosyllabic dolts. To wit--Beer, Breasts, Babes, Butts, Vegetarianism. Where do you think you lost them? Still, I might have paid attention for a little while.

There has been talk of a minute long boycott of Super Bowl commercials, but honestly if they wanted to get the audience to switch off the game they'd throw their efforts behind a different event entirely.

The High Minded and the Low Brow

Talk about swinging from both ends of the pendulum. Within one day I went from the vanguard showcase of independant films to attending a Monster Truck rally. My ears popped from the cultural decompression. Before you vilify me understand, the tickets were bought in advance by outside parties who guilted us into joining--and there were kids involved.

I'm sure everyone has their favorite memory of behemoth pickups rumbling across the screen, but I choose to dodge the normal redneck trappings. I've got three cherished memories. There was the moment where Bill Murray used a car-smasher for bargaining leverage. Independant cinema saw Billy Bob Thornton lose his SUV to the jaws of "Truskasaurus", (or was that "Fordzilla" ?) But the best had to be when we all witnessed oppression leveraged against the populace of a small town in Patrick Swayze's immortal classic.

Of course, if you feel the need for something other than speed, here's your chance to win a trip to the Monster Jam World Finals! Don't laugh, it's in Vegas--Billy Bob only made it to Reno, and he lost his leaser in the process.

Al Franken Won't be Bought--Rented, Maybe...

--Courtesy of Lloyd Grove

Heckler Wrangler and "Trading Places" star Al Franken squared off with Fox honcho Roger Ailes at an upper crust battle zone during lunch this week. Franken tried prodding Ailes into being a guest on Franken's fledging talk show, stating how he had been a guest for Ailes in the early days. Grove gives us this exchange:

"Yeah," Ailes fired back, "but you were the only guest who ever demanded to be paid. I think we had to give you $12."

"That was for cab fare," the comedian insisted.

A word of warning to the accountants at the new network--you may be inundated with receipts for gum and Oreos in the future.

Ripped off from Yesterday's Headlines

Direct-to-rental icon Dean Cain is going to star as image saavy Scott Peterson in the made-for-cable movie "The Perfect Husband". One sign that you were a less than perfect husband might be having your role played by Dean Cain on the USA Network.

Not There's Anything Wrong with Getting Caught

After years of a "which" hunt in sports we may start seeing pitchforks in the third base line box seats at The Jake. An Indian prospect has been discovered to have appeared in a gay porn video in his native Japan. Time will tell if the lack of towel snapping around his locker will keep him off the roster, but it was enough to get him undrafted in the Land of the Rising Son...er, sun.
In an unrelated story, Mike Piazza's agent said he will not demand to be traded to Cleveland.

Coming back from Sundance I had the start of a nightly ritual--Dennis Miller begins his nightly talk show on CNBC. It is a toned-down effort as he has to cede some of his air time to other guests--and the fact that it is an hour to fill every night may cause some lag. But he still has many of his elements in place. Hell, at least it is not football, and he's due his own talk show, now that he's an absolute doll.

Hopefully it will be enough to erase past mistakes. But just in case the discomfort of that misstep is too much here's a drinking game to help ease the pain. Drop in the DVD with He and Sandra and throw back a shot every time Denny says, "C'mawwwn". You'll have to be quick because at times they come faster than you can pour.

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