22.3.04

Cingular Sensations in Dialing for Lotharios

Just wait until this gets out. Cell phones will become even more of a scourge. A new service is available where lonely but chatty hearts can meet their cell mate...on the phone! Called Serendipity, it was dreamt up by the romantics at M.I.T. , a crowd probably familiar with text massaging and the like, and it speaks volumes that they would name it after a hilariously implausible romantic comedy.

The way Serendipity works is a phone owner plugs their personal information into their phone ( I love the outdoors roaming, long distance on the beach, dining out at restaurants with strong signals) and while they are talking loudly in stores their phone broadcasts this information. When they are close to someone with enough of the same traits the phones will act as matchmaker, and the two can develop a meaningful relationship of ignoring each other while talking to others. Any day now the new pickup line will be sending pertinent ring tones to the girl across the bar. (I'll send her Aguillera's "Beautiful", that should get her to text me back!")

The British meanwhile have taken this to the bawdy extreme. Rather than romantic connections they have communities dedicated to "Toothing", which is anonymous sex with complete unknowns. Like Serendipity, their phones or PDA is enhanced with Bluetooth technology. When you locate another in your range you ask, "Toothing?", and see if they respond. A favorable response will lead to a text liaison while toiling at your usual task. It is said commuter trains are among the most popular place to engage in toothing...as if you needed another reason to slide away from that person closest to you on your workday ride. Makes me wonder if sexual harassment charges will see an increase due to cubicle drones who get worked up on the way in to the office. Just like Serendipity, I think Toothing missed a real opportunity at giving this service a much more appropriate moniker.

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